You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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