but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
