I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
