Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
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