I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
