I'm so fucking centered right now
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I did not marry a roomba.
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