I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
