I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
