a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
