One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
