You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
