So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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