I smell stomach acid.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
