dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
