i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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