she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
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