ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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