I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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