blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
