Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
