p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Randomize
