I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
