He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
