tonight lets celebrate not being married
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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