Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Randomize
