What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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