I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
