we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
