its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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