I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
time to smoke my breakfast
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
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