Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
