At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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