the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
