I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
