my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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