your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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