I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
