I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
