Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
He kissed a someone with a penis
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
