I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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