Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
He is an equal opportunity slut.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
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