If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
she pinky promised me she was 18
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
