the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
