Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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