We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
