She's JV to your varsity
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
my liver is dry heaving
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
