p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
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