I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
