She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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