You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
