I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
