these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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