I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Randomize
