Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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